Author Archives: Witty Banter

About Witty Banter

Decoding the million wonderful and inspiring stories within the quirky world of Sport

David Haye Loses 6 Kilos on rice and beans | Jungle Diet | Bodyshot [pic]

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The boxing champion went into the Australian Bush at a beefy 98 kilograms (that’s just over 15 stone or 215 pounds for those of you still thinking in imperial units) but quickly dropped to 92 kilograms (14 stone) after living on a meagre diet of rice and beans every day. Things could’ve been better for the contestants food-wise if they had been successful during the first week of bushtucker trials; unpleasant challenges contestants are voted to face in order to earn food for their camp. Former Coronation Street star Helen Flanagan was repeatedly put up by the public vote to face the trials due to her extreme phobias and uncontrollable anxieties but was unsurprisingly unsuccessful in most of them meaning that her camp mates got no proper meals other than rice and beans for nearly a week. However, it wasn’t immediately obvious to the female viewers out there that David’s physique was being compromised and he took ample opportunity to flaunt his sexy six pack to those who tuned in.

 

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Ashley Cole thanks Drogba for Golden gift | Premier League

Ashley Cole used his twitter account to send his thanks to Didier Drogba for hosting an £800,000 celebratory dinner to commemorate Chelsea’s Champions League win this year, presenting his former team-mates with rings to symbolise their victory over Bayern Munich.

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Drogba said at the dinner: “I wanted to give something to the team so we can all look back and remember that achievement.” He then singled out club captain John Terry, who was in attendance. “You’re my hero and everyone at Chelsea loves you.”

 

 


Get out the way Ref! | 6 Match Ban for Sasho

After the penalty was called, referee Stefan Spasov went to spot the ball but Sasho had other ideas when he delivered a brutal hockey-style check to the ref sending him to the ground:

The check earned Sasho a six-game suspension from the Bulgarian Football Union and a fine of $1,500.

The incident happened in a professional Bulgarian soccer match between Cherno More Varna and Lavski Sofia playing for the Bulgarian cup.


If Tiger Woods had a 14ft Driver

I’m not sure what an “unofficial Guinness World record” is — isn’t the whole point of Guinness to make the record official? — but Michael Furrh of Arlington, Texas claims to have it. He recently smacked a golf ball with a 14-foot-2.5-inch driver, and hit it 144 yards down the fairway at Rolling Hills Golf Club.

 


FIFA Ethics Committee proceeds With Mohamed Bin Hammam Case

FIFA

On 4 December 2012, the chairman of the investigatory chamber of the FIFA Ethics Committee, Michael J. Garcia, who is also the head of the investigation conducted by the Ethics Committee into Mohamed bin Hammam, notified Bin Hammam of the completion of the investigation and informed him that the final report, together with the investigation files, would be submitted to the adjudicatory chamber of the FIFA Ethics Committee for examination. On the same day, all of the documents were sent by Garcia to the chairman of the adjudicatory chamber, Hans-Joachim Eckert.

Together with the final report and all of the investigation files, Garcia requested the imposition of provisional measures against Bin Hammam in accordance with the first sentence of art. 83 par. 1 of the FIFA Code of Ethics (FCE). Garcia stated that the request was not based on the necessity to protect an ongoing investigation, but rather that it was necessary because, given the extraordinarily complex nature and the considerable scope of the present case, it appeared highly unlikely that a decision on the relevant issues may be taken early enough within the meaning of article 83 par. 1 of the FCE. Given the seriousness of the violations of the FCE as alleged in the final report, Garcia said in his letter to the chairman of the adjudicatory chamber that it was imperative that Bin Hammam remained banned from football during the pendency of any decision on these charges.

On 6 December, having examined the final report and investigation files, Eckert deemed that the final report was complete and decided to proceed with adjudicatory proceedings in this case, in accordance with art. 69 par. 4 of the FCE. At the same time, Eckert established a deadline for Bin Hammam to respond.

Based on the report, the chairman of the adjudicatory chamber has decided to provisionally ban Bin Hammam given that a breach of the FCE appears to have been committed and that a decision on the main substance of the case may not be taken early enough.

 


UEFA Introduce a new look Euro 2020 Competition

UEFA

The UEFA EURO 2020 final tournament will be staged across the continent after today’s UEFA Executive Committee decision to hold the event in various major cities throughout Europe.

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The UEFA EURO 2020 final tournament will be staged in various major cities throughout Europe, following a decision taken by the UEFA Executive Committee at its meeting in Lausanne on Thursday.

The decision to stage a “EURO for Europe”, rather than a tournament in one or two host countries, follows an initial idea revealed by the UEFA President Michel Platini in June. UEFA has consulted its member national associations about the proposal in the intervening period, and has received an extremely positive response, which has prompted Thursday’s innovative move. The decision, which was not supported by Şenes Erzik, means that the UEFA National Team Competitions Committee will now take responsibility to review the matter further in order to report to a future UEFA Executive Committee meeting.

Among the other decisions taken, the committee decided that the ownership of football players by third parties should be prohibited as a matter of principle. Consequently, world football’s governing body FIFA will be requested to issue relevant worldwide regulations prohibiting third-party ownership of players. UEFA, through its Professional Football Strategy Council (PFSC), would also be ready to implement a regulatory framework to ban third-party ownership arrangements in UEFA competitions, should FIFA not take the appropriate steps. In that case, a transitional period of three to four seasons would apply.

UEFA is continuing to be actively involved in the fight against match-fixing and corruption in football. Accordingly, the Executive Committee expressed its support for the introduction of sporting fraud as a criminal offence in national legislations throughout Europe.

The committee approved the use of additional assistant referees at next summer’s UEFA European Under-21 Championship final round in Israel. Two additional assistant referees – who stand on each goal line and watch in particular for penalty-area incidents – are already being deployed in this season’s UEFA club competitions, following a decision in July by the International Football Association Board (IFAB) to incorporate additional assistants into the Laws of the Game.

Tbilisi will play host to the 2013 UEFA Futsal Cup finals in April 2013. In addition, the committee approved the name of UEFA’s new youth competition for clubs, which will begin from the 2013/14 season – the UEFA Youth League. The trophy will be named after UEFA’s honorary president Lennart Johansson.

The committee decided that the 2013/14 UEFA European Women’s Under-17 Championship final tournament will be staged in England from 26 November to 8 December 2013, with the qualifying rounds to be played in the summer and autumn of 2013. The final tournament counts as the European qualifying competition for the 2014 FIFA U-17 Women’s World Cup, which will take place in Costa Rica in March/April 2014, and not in autumn after the UEFA women’s U17 finals, which are normally held in June and/or July.

UEFA has prolonged its arrangement with long-term partner TEAM for the marketing of commercial rights including the UEFA Champions League, UEFA Europa League and UEFA Super Cup initially for three additional seasons and, subject to performance, for an additional three-year term thereafter. As part of the new agreement, TEAM has appointed Michael van Praag, a UEFA Executive Committee member, and David Taylor, the CEO of UEFA Events SA, to its board.

Astana, Kazakhstan, and Vienna, Austria, were chosen by the Executive Committee as the respective venues for the 2014 and 2015 UEFA Ordinary Congresses. The XXXVII Ordinary UEFA Congress will take place in London on 24 May 2013.

The first Executive Committee meeting of 2013 is scheduled for 25 January at the House of European Football in Nyon, Switzerland.


Wigan Confirm Roger “El Chino” Espinoza Deal | Premier League

The 26-year-old Honduras international has long been linked with a move and is set to swap Major League Soccer for the Barclays Premier League when his contract expires at the end of the year. Espinoza is a versatile player who can play in either defence or midfield and he impressed at this summer’s Olympics with his performance against Brazil.

“We’re working really hard to try to make it happen and we’re looking forward to seeing if we can get that one done successfully,” Martinez said.

“There are a few steps: there is the work permit, there are certain aspects we need to fulfil in the paperwork but Roger is a player that we’ve been following for a long, long time.

“We’ve seen him enjoying his football in the Olympic Games recently with Honduras, and in the World Cup as well he’s been an important part of that group of players with (Wigan defender) Maynor Figueroa. He would be a real asset for us.

“But until January 1 we can’t do anymore than wait and make sure we prepare ourselves for the steps we’ve got ahead to make him a Wigan Athletic player.”


Wolves Jamie O’Hara To Quit Twitter

Wolves midfielder Jamie O’Hara will close his Twitter account after sparking a social media fury on Wednesday following claims about his hard life as a professional footballer.

The former Spurs player – who is thought to be paid about £35,000 a week – posted a tweet where he appeared to bemoan his life situation, longing for ‘easier’ days on £100 a week.

O’Hara, 26, who is married to former Miss England Danielle Lloyd, 28, wrote: ‘Things were so much easier when I earned 100pound a week on wts #stress’.

Soccer - FA Cup - Third Round - Portsmouth v Coventry City - Fratton Park

Jamie wrote on his twitter account 


Stoke’s Tony Pulis Grabs F&C INVESTMENTS PERFORMANCE OF THE WEEK AWARD

LMA

The League Managers Association five-man Performance of the Week panel, comprising LMA Chairman Howard Wilkinson, Sir Alex Ferguson, Joe Royle, Dave Bassett and Barry Fry, were in agreement that this week, the F&C Investments Performance of the Week Award should go to Stoke City following their excellent 1-0 away win against West Bromwich Albion in the Barclays Premier League on Saturday 1st December 2012.

Manager Tony Pulis will receive a specially engraved crystal football in a presentation to commemorate the award.

On 75 minutes Dean Whitehead steered the winner in from fellow substitute Michael Kightly’s cross after great perseverance by Kenwyne Jones. Jones did brilliantly to pressurise Jonas Olsson on the right flank and Whitehead was able to profit to give Stoke a first win on the road in the top flight since they beat Blackburn Rovers last January. Their fourth victory from five games sees them move up to ninth in the Premier League table.

Manager Tony Pulis was naturally delighted;

“It was a great result because we haven’t won away from home this season. We have drawn four away but could easily have won a couple of those. Every one of the players who played gave it everything.

“We were quite happy to let them have the ball and try to counter-attack. We wanted to make sure they didn’t get behind us.

“We didn’t want to lose the ball in bad areas. They play between the lines very well. We are delighted to get a clean sheet and win the game.

“We have done well defensively, but we have done well all season. It has been a very good week but we don’t get too carried away when we are winning or too despondent when we are losing.”


A very Young Tiger Feeds a Fox then predicts he’ll be the Michael Jordan of Golf

“The Tiger Woods we met was a likeable young man with an acute sense of his own destiny.”

But as good as this piece is for the above reasons, I’m still more fascinated by the sight of Woods sitting near a fairway, feeding a random forest creature which sidles up to him.

Tiger Woods, the fox whisperer?

Never mind.

H/T to CBS’s Shane Bacon, who found this video in the dusty archives.

Young Tiger:

“Since I’m black I might be even bigger than Jack Nicklaus. I might be even bigger than him, to the blacks. I might be sort of like a Michael Jordan in basketball. Something like that.”

Tiger, on race (at about the 3:15 mark in the video):

“Every time I go to a major country club, I always feel it. You can always sense it. People always staring at you, ‘What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here.’ When I go to Texas or Florida, you always feel it because they say, ‘Why are you here?’ ‘Not supposed to be here.’ And that’s probably because that’s where all the slavery was.”

 

 


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